GIVE stands for Gentle, Interested, Validate, and Easy Manner. Practice this valuable skill to communicate emotions, improve relationships, and build stronger connections with others.
Give
Often, we can become critical towards ourselves or others when we are not used to communicating how we feel. Be gentle with the process and avoid making threats or personal attacks, sneering, eye rolling or walking away. Calmly express your feelings and respect theirs. Treat yourself and the other person with kindness.
Interested
Being interested in the communication process means listening to the other person’s point of view without interruption. Remain patient and maintain a desire to understand. Be sensitive if the other person wishes to have the discussion at a different time.
Validate
It is important to show through your words and actions that you are actively listening. Reflect back on what they are saying and pay attention to their body language or tone. You can say “I realize this is hard for you,” “I see that you are busy, and..”, “I can tell that she/he/they meant a lot to you.” Also, do not try to one up or one down each other’s experiences. Relocate to talk in a private space if needed.
Easy Manner
Be relaxed and calm in your interactions. Talk with ease and without attitude or judgment. Smile and use humor as appropriate.